


Define Love

by Larxicana



Series: The Adventures of Song and Cole [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Humor, Light Hearted Ending, Love, No Romance, Slight Hurt/Comfort, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Word study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 10:38:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11183385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larxicana/pseuds/Larxicana
Summary: Love: it has so many definitions, that it's all really confusing. Cole asks questions, but doesn't really get answers, just more questions. It's all... really confusing.....Or where Dorian makes everything worse and Lavellan has to fix it.





	Define Love

            There was so much paper work, near mounds of it, if she was going to be honest with herself. Thankfully much of it was just papers needing her signature of approval before things could be done. Most of the time, her advisors would handle things like this, but they made sure to keep her updated before moving troops or making moves towards nobles for support. After all, the Inquisition was hers now.

Thankfully, Inquisitor Lavellan could take the pile to her quarters where she could enjoy some peace and quiet away from the chatter of visiting nobles or the clashing of swords in the training fields. Up here, she could open all her doors and let the cool mountain air roll in. Sometimes a bird or too would wonder inside and perch themselves near her to sing their songs. They were never afraid of her, merely curious. This was probably due to her elven blood, as her people were one with nature and the world they lived in. Animals seemed to notice this. Their songs reminded her of her clan, of their time in the forests. She missed them a great deal, sometimes stronger than others.

Lavellan signed her name in the only way she knew how, which were two little elven initials, one for her first and last name. Paper work was a new thing to her, so Josephine had to explain a few things to her at the beginning, but thankfully she knew how to read and could piece together the rest.

As she sat at her desk, she felt a stir in her room. The birds singing near her took flight, startled out of their songs and hurried out the open doors. Lavellan paused in her work, but smiled and finished her name, “You startle the birds when you do that.” She spoke, not having to look up to know who was paying her a visit. Still, she set her quill down and lifted her head to look at Cole, who stood in the middle of her room, looking out the window at the birds. “I wasn’t aware that you could still hide after becoming more human.”

Cole was quiet for a moment, watching as the birds cautiously came back, but landed on the railing of the balcony instead. “I cannot make people… not see me like before.” He started then ducked his head to hide under his hat out of habit, “Rouges can disappear, the mages make the bombs for me.”

“Still not used to people seeing you, then?” Lavellan asked, folding her legs up under her on her chair, propping her elbows on the desk to hold her chin up. She brushed her thick, blonde hair behind an ear then tilted her head.

“ _Careful, cautious yet… curious_.” Cole started, toying with his fingers, “ _Who is that boy? I haven’t seen him before. So quiet, timid, hides away in the attic, follows the Inquisitor. Lanky, pale, is he sick? Curious_.” He paused, studying his hands, “Everyone can see me now.”

“That’s a good thing, Cole.” The Inquisitor spoke, “You are more you now, yes? Humans cannot turn invisible. Even mages who cast a spell for such a thing eventually have to stop out of fatigue.” Cole didn’t say anything in response, so the elf stood from her desk and walked to where a very nice tea set was laid out. It was a gift from Josephine for her birthday; fine porcelain imported from Antiva, she said. Lavellan was sure it cost a small fortune, but Josephine insisted she have it. “ _The Inquisitor should not have to drink from such brittle and… unsightly cups while having guests._ ” Their ambassador told her. Lavellan didn’t have many guests to her room, honestly, but she took the gift with thanks, even though she was afraid to use it most of the time.

With a bit of magic, she heated some water and poured it into two cups before adding the tea leaves. She stirred them then picked up a small honey pot. “ _One and a half spoonfuls_ ,” Coles spoke up as she worked, causing her to smile, “ _Two is too much and one is too little. He doesn’t like it too bitter, but too much honey makes his jaw hurt. He makes the cutest face when something is too sweet. I should put in too much honey just to see it_.”

“But I wouldn’t.” Lavellan spoke up then, picking up the cup and saucer to turn to Cole, who lifted his head.

She handed him the cup, “ _A pretty cup in rough, gifted hands. Wrapped in cloth, dirty cloth, let me clean them, take care of him. Such a pretty boy, hiding in patches. Let me take care of him. Sweet boy._ ” Cole looked down at the green liquid in his cup then up at the elven Inquisitor. He watched as she took her own cup and walked over to a sitting area by the fire place before he joined her, sitting carefully on the fine sofa.

Lavellan took a sip of her tea and looked at the fire for a moment before turning her gaze at Cole, “You usually don’t repeat my thoughts back to me unless you’re troubled, trying to figure out your own problems.” She spoke. She couldn’t see his face, but watched as he thumbed his cup for a moment. “Cole?”

“ _Worry, concern, so gentle, like a flower. Warm, safe, nurturing like a cat to curious kittens._ ”

“Cole.” The boy stopped, pausing for a moment before taking the tea cup in both hands to lift it to his lips. Lavellan watched, listening to the soft sigh he let out after taking a sip. He set the cup back down.

“I can’t love you.”

Lavellan frowned a little, blinking a few times as she ran the words over in her head. “I’m sorry?” She spoke, confused where the sentence had come from.

Cole turned his head more towards the elf, but kept his face out of sight, “I cannot love you back. _Caring, concern, heavy yet warm, like a sweater made of sheep’s wool._ ” He stood and put the cup down in a rush so he could move to pace around the room. “It pools in your chest, I can feel it. When you smile at me, speak to me, look at me, I can feel it. It is thrown at me and presses against my chest.” He toyed with his fingers for a moment before moving them about, “ _Human now, different, closer, more real. He’s here now, safe, with me. Keep him close, always close. Casting barriers, barriers, keep him safe._ ” He started to growl, imitating anger, “ _Arrows soring, bastards on the cliffs. Strike them down, lightning, lightning. Precious boy, here now, more real, mine now._ ”

Lavellan put down her own cup and stood, growing more worried as Cole paced faster. The boy started to touch his face and grip his sweater, as though he had faded completely into the past thoughts of the Inquisitor. “Cole.” She tried to step in his path but he moved and dodged her touch like a skittish cat.

“ _Worried, afraid. Why is he hurting himself? I want to help, stop the pain. Why is he afraid? What did I do? Fix it, don’t like this. My sunshine, afraid, scared, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!”_

“Cole!” Lavellan reached out and grabbed him by both arms to get him to stop moving. The boy’s eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t noticed she had gotten in front of him again. The Inquisitor’s eyes were wide as well, swimming with concern.

“I cannot love you.” Cole said after a quiet moment, looking nearly pained himself. “I can’t. Varric, he explained it to me. I didn’t understand and I went to him, because he’s nice and answers my questions. I told him what you sent to me when you look at me and he said it was love. Then I asked Dorian what love was and he said that… that when one person finds another appealing, that they get this swell in their chest that makes when do silly things. And he said that people who were in love did things like kiss and take long walks on the coast and roll around in the sheets doing-…”

The elf held up a hand, “Ah, yes. I know where he’s going with this, I don’t need the details.” She said as she made a mental note to kill Dorian for telling Cole such things.

Cole paused and swallowed, eyes wide with worry and uncertainty. “I cannot love you.” He said slower, though his voice shook a little, “I… cannot give you that, fix that, help that, but I don’t want you to leave, like Rhys.”

The Inquisitor made a face of confusion, having no idea where any of this was coming from or what started it. “Cole, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The boy tilted his head a little, “You love me.” He said simply then, “I can feel it. It’s… really strong and it presses against me. I cannot return your feelings or do anything that people who are in love do.”

Lavellan stared at Cole for a long moment as everything processed through her mind, then a small smile grew on her face. At first, there was a giggle, then a chuckle, and soon she was laughing so hard, her eyes teared up. She took her hands back to put on her cramping stomach. Cole watched, growing more confused as her laughter grew. “Why are you laughing?” He asked, “Do people laugh at things like that? Dorian said people cried when they were rejected but… I don’t think it was like that.”

The elf sniffled and wiped her eyes, giggles lingering a few moments after. When she had recovered enough, she stood up straight and reached out to take both of the boy’s hands into hers, “Cole, you shouldn’t talk to Dorian about this anymore, alright? He can be very misleading.”

“But… I like talking to Dorian. He lets me ask questions.” Cole protested a little as he looked down at their hands.

“And that’s good! But from now on, come to me about emotions, ok? Because he only told you one side of what love can be.” Lavellan pulled him back over to the sofa and sat him down, keeping a hold of his hands, “Yes, love can be… like that, but there are love in other ways.”

“Like what?” Cole asked curiously, moving his pale eyes back to hers.

“Well…” The Inquisitor paused to put her words together for a moment, “When someone has a pet, like a dog or a cat, they care greatly for them and want to make them happy. There is also the way brothers and sisters feel for each other. They do not want to do the things Dorian told you about. They care for each other a great deal and want to protect each other, for losing them would cause them great pain and sadness.” She reached up and gently pushed the hair from the boy’s face, causing him to move his head back a little from the sudden touch, then relaxed. “What I feel for you, Cole, is that sort of love. You’re very important to me and I would never want to see you hurt. Just the very idea causes me pain. I want to make you happy.”

She paused for a moment, feeling as though she wasn’t making sense, “Do you remember when we were fighting to close a Rift in the Western Approach and that Shade came up behind you and cut you so bad that you went down and couldn’t get back up?” Cole nodded a little and looked down, gripping her hands a little tighter as he remembered the pain, but Lavellan pushed his chin back up so he would look at her, "And I rushed forward to take the next blow myself, using every ounce of magic I had to keep you safe? I barely had enough energy to close the Rift after. I did that because I love you, because the very thought of losing you hurt me more than any Shade could.

“I don’t love you in the way Dorian is talking about, there’s nothing romantic or sexual about this. I just care a great deal for you and would do anything for you. Does that make sense?”

Cole was quiet for a moment, thinking over the information he had been given. This was much different than what Dorian had described, but this… was better. “I… understand.” He said eventually, studying their hands for a moment more before meeting the elf’s eyes. Slowly, he gave a little smile, “Then, if all of that is true, I can return that. I can love you back.”

Lavellan grinned then, causing that weight to be pressed against Cole once more, but now that he had a name and understanding of it, he wasn’t afraid. The Inquisitor leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the lanky, pale boy that had literally appeared in their lives, “Good.”


End file.
